Bachelor Party Go Bag: Survival Essentials
The best of best men plan ahead and pack accordingly – for the whole team. Most sentient groomsmen will remember their deodorant and ibuprofen, so here’s the super-important stuff they probably forgot, or never heard of, or didn’t know they’d need until it’s too late. A banging bachelor party begins with a banging go bag.
Slap it On:
Everything that booze sucks out of your body, The Hangover Patch spews back in, through your skin! B12 especially. Stick it someplace hairless before the party starts and you’ll thank it in the morning.
Shoot it: A little liquid courage, between rounds, behind-the-scenes, in the limo, after last call. Top-shelf plus clear (as in vodka) equals less headache.
Chug it: One-for-one, water for booze, all night. When you can’t carry it, order it: “water backs, all around.”
Scarf it: Jerky – strips, hunks, flavored, even meatless! – is the pocket-friendly protein of choice. Won’t mush like a bar, but just as humiliating if you’re spotted mid-chew. Scarf with discretion.
Suck it: Nobody likes meat breath. Or any kind of food-related breath, for that matter. Go for the strong stuff, sugar-free.
Pick it Up: When you hit a wall, and you will, down an energy drink and smash through. Don’t overdo.
Burners, All Around: On Friday, regular phones go in the hotel safe. Prepaid cell phones for everybody: camera disabled, contacts added for each other, taxi, and good lawyer. On Sunday, wipe and destroy.
Stash it: A hidden pocket for cash, cards, at least half of aforementioned essentials, and other, ahem, sundries. For your safety and dignity, don’t whip it out in public.